Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Precis 1 (Strict Parenting=Bad)

Dr. Laura Markham in her article,  '"What's wrong with strict parenting?," poses the problems and effects of strict parenting, and offers her advice on ways to form a parent-kid relationship that isn't based on rules or fear. She argues that an authoritarian parenting will result in a child with low self esteem. The low self esteem makes the child act out more, and therefore gets punished more. This is an endless cycle that, in the grand scheme of things, does not work out. Children that are deprived of the opportunity to self discipline and self reflect are consequentially lacking in responsibility. Overall, strictness is going to be the only thing a parent is associated with when a child thinks of them. The positive goals that the parents are pushing for get completely looked over, leaving both the parents and the the child unsatisfied.
Markham, Laura. "What's Wrong with Strict Parenting?" Dr. Laura Markham What's Wrong With Strict Parenting? N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Mar. 2014.

As a current teenage son, I believe that I have enough personal experience to properly validate whichever opinion that I choose. That being said, my opinion is very restricted due to me not having experience with the second side of the argument, which would be being a parent. However, I do not think that authoritarian parenting is the right way to raise a child. The entire point of growing up to grow, expand, and become independent as a human being. Growing up in a household where there is a harsh rule and consequence around every corner can eliminates those chances! A lot of parents are specifically unaffectionate and strict because they want their child to grow up in a household modeled to what society is like. This actually can backfire really quickly. First and most specifically, it is a new generation. Growing up today is totally different than growing up when our parents did. To attempt to household manner similar to child's real life would be unfair and stupid. Secondly, If the kid grows up in a very strict setting with every action getting a reaction, he won't have experienced any real world consequences or have an idea of how rules truly work in a society. No matter what, there will always be a disconnect between society's and parent's rules and consequences. But it is up to the parents to recognize the necessity for a teenager or young adult to eventually learn about the difference.

http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/strict-parenting








2 comments:

  1. Another thing to consider would be if the child were completely dependent from their parent’s rules, but a threat to society. Say a parent found out that his/her child was doing drugs, vandalizing, sneaking out and drinking. Should that parent ignore it and trust their child can handle these problems by themselves? I understand what you and Dr. Laura Markham are saying, that an over strict parent makes the child most likely have low self-esteem, but isn’t that better than drinking and driving? I’m not saying beatings and verbal abuse are acceptable, but maybe a few rules like curfew? Has modern day society made it tolerable for the temptations a child faces, but wrong for a parent setting some ground rules in the house? Sometimes it’s okay for the parent to be the bad guy, but the parents who use it too significantly will make it overbearing for the child.

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  2. Of course there should be boundaries. I am not saying that parents should not deliver rules/consequences whatsoever. What I'm saying is that there is a happy medium between a child who drinks and drives and a child who isn't let out of the house. A curfew is one of the rules that a parent most definitely should have, along with monitoring the kid's whereabouts. The issue is, when the parents are so concerned with their kid being exposed to mature things, that he/she can't go outside without them doing a full scale investigation. This will lead to many problems down the road. It sparks a desire for thrills and possibly danger in the child's heart, and it the flame only grows when the parents continue to restrict any and all situations of potential risk. This can result in a very troubled young adult who has a burning need to go crazy after high school, and the parents cannot do anything about it anymore. There have been many reports about a student dying or being hospitalized their first week in college, and it is mentioned many times that the student had a very rigged and stressful adolescence.

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